The dictionary defines ‘hidden in plain sight’ as to be unnoticeable, by staying in a setting that masks presence.
We have all, at one time or another, if only temporarily, hidden our true selves. We mask parts of ourselves in order to protect ourselves. We are chary of exposure and vulnerability. And rightly so when survival is at stake. However, ordinarily (Covid notwithstanding), that level of danger is rare.
Fear is a powerful driver: fear of making a mistake, making a fool of ourselves, feeling stupid, fear of being rejected. We don’t want to put ourselves in situations where we might experience such emotions. So, we find ways to hide, even in plain sight! We camouflage our vulnerability and our fear and we pretend. We act out, “I’m fine!” even when we are far from it.
And we justify doing so by making excuses to ourselves. We pretend.
A topic that is frequently raised in my coaching practice is referred to as Imposter Syndrome: someone who successfully punches above their weight but suffers continually with an anxiety that they will be found out. Clever, intelligent and able people kid themselves that they are not good enough whilst doing a very fine job: Imposter Syndrome.
I have felt it myself. I hear the voice in my head say, “I can’t do this,” or worse, “I don’t know how to do this.”. But if I look at the evidence of my past achievements, it would seem that those statements are, actually not true. Hmmmmm………… Now what?
Having lived a part of my own life in hiding, I can now understand the extent to which my cover up got in the way of my own free expression, my creativity and my desire to live a fulfilling life. By looking beyond my circumstances I was able to take a stand for myself – which brought me out of hiding – to live the life I wanted to live.
When we hide who we really are, we suppress our potential, our gifts. When we shield our real selves, we behave in ways that are inauthentic. We think we are successfully deceiving others; in fact, the likelihood is that they sense it and it is ourselves whom we deceive.
People have all the talent and ambition they need, but often they keep them hidden under a cloud of disappointments, doubt, frustration and sometimes resignation. Resignation is that place where your inner voice says, “What’s the point, it won’t make any difference, it probably won’t work anyway.”
But what if it did?
Most of us live two lives, the one we live and the unlived one within us. Between the two lies resistance. There’s the rub! And rather than deal with the resistance, we dress up in a whole wardrobe of disguises!
So how do we integrate the two?
My programme is designed to help people to create their own restorative belief systems in a quiet way: this is where the magic of our inner lives happens, on both the conscious and unconscious levels. This is the meeting point where what you love meets what you are good at, meets what you can be valued and paid for, meets that which the world needs.
Perhaps it’s time to give up the Imposter and make friends with the real you?
